m i n d f u l l i v i n g o n l i n e
Showing posts with label Third Age. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Third Age. Show all posts

Friday, April 30, 2010

The Five P's of Purpose

We are born to dream. Think about it. Where would we be, who would we be, without our dreams? Most of the great inventions of the world, much of the forward movement of human civilization, have been fueled by dreams. So it should come as no surprise that for many of us, finding purpose means putting our dreams into action.
For the past seven years, I've been interviewing people who later in life have done just that. And in writing a book about the experience, I realized a dream of my own.
Analyzing what I've learned in the process and how it mightapply to people of all ages, I've come up with what I call "The Five Ps of Finding Purpose."
Last month I spoke about these five principles to a variety of groups in Botswana and discovered that they pertain to all sorts of other endeavors. They could just as easily be called "The Five P's of Becoming a True Leader" or "The Five P's of Achieving Success." Although they're not sophisticated concepts, each presents its own set of challenges.
1. Possibility. Embrace it! Almost anything is possible if we're willing to let go of our limiting ideas of ourselves. (Ah, there's the rub!) Leaders and late bloomers alike begin their journeys by envisioning a future where their dreams have taken shape. Take Susan B. Anthony, who imagined women one day having the right to vote and spent her life championing the cause. Today we have a woman who is the Speaker of the House and another who is running for President. Or consider Linda Bach, who believed it was still possible in her 40's to become a doctor. At age 50, she graduated from the University of Miami Medical School. (Note: If you want to stretch your vision, I recommend reading The Art of Possibility, a wonderful how-to book co-written by Boston Philharmonic conductor Benjamin Zander and his wife Rosamund.)
2. Presence. Pay attention! If you want to discover a passion and figure out how to pursue it, pay attention to the opportunities and signs that present themselves in the here and now. Listen to your body. (A wrenching gut is often a warning cry.) Most of us spend too much time in our heads thinking about the past and theorizing about the future. We forget to breathe in the beauty of life. In doing so, we often miss the gifts that are right in front of us.
3. Passion. Explore it! Ask yourself what gives you joy. Our passions not only lead to our purpose, they're the propellant that allows us to surmount the obstacles that inevitably come between us and our goals. There’s no better example of someone following her passion than British singer, Susan Boyle. Last year, at the age of 47, Boyle became a contestant on "Britain's Got Talent," in pursuit of her goal of becoming a professional singer. She was catapulted to fame with an electrifying performance that was viewed by over 40 million people on You Tube. Since then she’s fulfilled her goal with the release of an aptly-titled album, “I Dreamed a Dream.” It ranked number two in album sales in the U.S. in 2009.
4. Practice. Do it! Whether you long to be a marathon runner, a writer, or a political activist, the pay-off comes with practice. Here in the States we tend to think that talent trumps all. But a studyof musicians conducted by British psychologist John Sloboda suggests otherwise. To his amazement, Sloboda discovered that the performers who scored best were practicing 800 percent more than the ones at the bottom. "People have this idea that there are those who ... can get further on less effort," Sloboda says. "On average, our data refuted that."
5. Persistence. Keep at it! Most people give up on their dreams too soon. But not Ed Viesturs. Determined to climb Everest, Viesturs was forced to turn back twice just short of his goal. The third time he made it to the top, becoming the first American to summit the 14 tallest peaks in the world. You may have no desire to climb mountains; but whatever your goals are, the way to achieve them is to keep moving forward. If you're not progressing as fast as you'd like or experiencing the results you've imagined, take an honest look at yourself and re-evaluate. Everyone makes mistakes. Chances are, the more successful you are, the more you've made. (After all, you've probably taken more risks.) Learn from your blunders and move on. Detours are often part of the journey. But as Viesturs says, "There are no shortcuts to the top."
About the Author:
Prill Boyle is a self-described late bloomer. At the age of 48 she left her teaching job to write a book about late bloomers. Defying Gravity recounts the stories of 12 "ordinary" women who have done extraordinary things later in life.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

10 Steps to Mindfulness


"Smile, breathe and go slowly." - Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist monk
The idea of being mindful - being present, being more conscious of life as it happens - may seem contradictory to those who are used to sacrificing living for pursuing their goals ... but cultivating mindfulness will help you achieve your goals and enjoy life more. In fact, you're more productive when you're mindful.
But more importantly, being present is undoubtedly the only way to enjoy life to the fullest. By being mindful, you enjoy your food more, you enjoy friends and family more, you enjoy anything you're doing more. Anything. Even things you might think are drudgery or boring, such as housework, can be amazing if you are truly present. Try it - wash dishes or sweep or cook, and remain fully present. It takes practice, but it's incredible.
Life in the Present: A 10-Step Approach
1. Do one thing at a time. Single-task, don't multi-task. When you're pouring water, just pour water. When you're eating, just eat. When you're bathing, just bathe. Don't try to knock off a few tasks while eating or bathing or driving. Zen proverb: "When walking, walk. When eating, eat."
2. Do it slowly and deliberately. You can do one task at a time, but also rush that task. Instead, take your time, and move slowly. Make your actions deliberate, not rushed and random. It takes practice, but it helps you focus on the task.
3. Do less. If you do less, you can do those things more slowly, more completely and with more concentration. If you fill your day with tasks, you will be rushing from one thing to the next without stopping to think about what you do. But you're busy and you can't possibly do less, right? You can. I've done it, and so have many busy people. It's a matter of figuring out what's important, and letting go of what's not.
4. Put space between things. Related to the "Do less" rule, but it's a way of managing your schedule so that you always have time to complete each task. Don't schedule things close together - instead, leave room between things on your schedule. That gives you a more relaxed schedule, and leaves space in case one task takes longer than you planned.
5. Spend at least 5 minutes each day doing nothing. Just sit in silence. Become aware of your thoughts. Focus on your breathing. Notice the world around you. Become comfortable with the silence and stillness. It'll do you a world of good - and just takes 5 minutes!
6. Stop worrying about the future - focus on the present. Become more aware of your thinking - are you constantly worrying about the future? Learn to recognize when you're doing this, and then practice bringing yourself back to the present. Just focus on what you're doing, right now. Enjoy the present moment.
7. When you're talking to someone, be present. How many of us have spent time with someone but have been thinking about what we need to do in the future? Or thinking about what we want to say next, instead of really listening to that person? Instead, focus on being present, on really listening, on really enjoying your time with that person.
8. Eat slowly and savor your food. Food can be crammed down our throats in a rush, but where's the joy in that? Savor each bite, slowly, and really get the most out of your food. Interestingly, you'll eat less this way, and digest your food better as well.
9. Live slowly and savor your life. Just as you would savor your food by eating it more slowly, do everything this way - slow down and savor each and every moment. Tune into the sights and sounds and awaken your senses to the world around you.
10. Make cleaning and cooking become meditation. Cooking and cleaning are often seen as drudgery, but actually they are both great ways to practice mindfulness, and can be great rituals performed each day. If cooking and cleaning seem like boring chores to you, try doing them as a form of meditation. Put your entire mind into those tasks, concentrate, and do them slowly and completely. It could change your entire day (as well as leave you with a cleaner house).
Keep practicing. When you get frustrated, just take a deep breath. When you ask yourself, "What should I do now, Self?" The answer is, "keep practicing."
"When you drive around the city and come to a red light or a stop sign, you can just sit back and make use of these twenty or thirty seconds to relax - to breathe in, breathe out, and enjoy arriving in the present moment. There are many things like that we can do." - Thich Nhat Hanh